Making Everyday Life a Little Easier

Sometimes the things that make life harder aren't very big.

A container that's difficult to open. A favorite sweater that's become frustrating to button. A chair that's just a little too difficult to get out of. Something on a shelf that's becoming harder to reach. A television remote with buttons that are nearly impossible to see. Shoes that take longer to put on than they used to.

None of these things sounds particularly important. But imagine running into little frustrations like these all day long.

That's where someone who works with older adults can make an enormous difference. The challenge is that the person you're helping may never tell you about them. They may not think it's worth mentioning. They may have gotten used to it. They may not want to complain. They may not want someone to think they can't do something anymore. Or they may have quietly found another solution.

They stop wearing the sweater. They stop reaching for something on that shelf. They quit making the meal they used to enjoy. They stop going out a particular door. They sit in a different chair. They wait until someone happens to come along.

Or they simply say: “I don't do that much anymore.” That's where curiosity becomes important.

Because “I don't do that anymore” doesn't necessarily mean: “I'm no longer interested in doing it.”

Sometimes it means: “One little part of doing it became too difficult.”

Imagine a woman who used to enjoy making cookies but hasn't baked in months.

It would be easy to think: “I guess she doesn't enjoy baking anymore.”

But maybe that's not it at all. Maybe the mixing bowls are on a high shelf. Maybe the mixer is too heavy to lift out of a lower cupboard. Maybe standing at the counter that long is uncomfortable. Maybe opening one particular container hurts her hands. Maybe she can still do almost everything involved in baking cookies.

There's just one little piece getting in the way.

Find that piece, and something she enjoys may become possible again. That's why making everyday life easier isn't always about doing more for someone. Sometimes it's about noticing what's getting in their way.

Watch. Listen. Get curious.

When someone says: “Oh, I don't bother with that anymore.”

Don't immediately move on.

Maybe ask: “How come?”

If someone always asks you to open the same container, don't just open it every day. Get curious.

Is there another container that would be easier for them to use themselves?

If someone stopped sitting in their favorite chair, wonder why. If they don't go outside as often, don't immediately assume they've lost interest in being outdoors.

What's the hardest part about getting outside?

Maybe the door is heavy. Maybe the threshold is awkward. Maybe there's nowhere comfortable to sit once they get there. Maybe they're worried the door will lock behind them. Maybe their sunglasses are always somewhere else.

Sometimes the solution is surprisingly small. And here's something else worth remembering:

Don't automatically do the whole task just because one part is difficult.

If someone has trouble carrying their plate to the table, that doesn't necessarily mean they need someone to prepare the meal, carry the plate, cut the food, and clean everything up. Maybe they just need help carrying the plate.

If putting on a coat is difficult, maybe there's one sleeve that's giving them trouble. Help with the sleeve. Let them do the rest.

If someone can fold laundry but carrying the basket is difficult, carry the basket. Leave the laundry.

There can be something deeply satisfying about continuing to do the ordinary things that make up our lives.

Making coffee. Choosing clothes. Preparing food. Watering plants. Setting the table. Getting the newspaper. Taking care of our own things.

These may look like chores from the outside. But sometimes they're also little pieces of independence, routine, identity, and control.

So before taking something over, see whether you can make it easier instead. And don't assume faster is always better.

You may be able to button the sweater in ten seconds. They may need a minute. That's okay.

You may be able to prepare the entire breakfast faster than they can make their own toast. That's okay, too.

Sometimes the goal isn't getting everything done as efficiently as possible.

Sometimes the goal is helping someone continue doing what they can still do.

The more time you spend with someone, the more opportunities you'll begin to notice.

Listen for little comments:

“These darn things are hard to open.”

“I can't see these buttons very well.”

“That's getting heavier every year.”

“I wish they wouldn't put that up there.”

“Oh, forget it. It's not worth the trouble.”

Those aren't complaints to brush past. They're clues. And you don't have to solve every one of them.

Sometimes simply asking: “What part of this is giving you the most trouble?”

can tell you more than: “Do you need help?”

Because we're not trying to find everything someone can't do anymore. We're trying to discover the little things that may be getting in the way of what they still want to do. Then, whenever possible, make the obstacle smaller.

Move something. Change something. Find an easier way. Help with one part. Try something different. And see what happens.

Because making someone's life easier doesn't always require doing something big. Sometimes you simply notice one little frustration that everyone else has walked past...

and open a door that had quietly started to close.

Click on a topic you'd like to explore -
Under Development

Door One: Listen for the Little Frustrations
Sometimes people tell you what's difficult without ever saying, “I need help.”

Listen for comments like, “These things are impossible to open,” “I don't bother with that anymore,” or “Oh, forget it.” Those little remarks may be clues. Instead of simply fixing the immediate problem, get curious about what's making it frustrating. There may be a surprisingly simple way to make it easier.

Door Two: Notice What They've Quietly Stopped Doing
Sometimes the first sign that something has become difficult is that it simply disappears from someone's routine.

Maybe they stopped baking, going outside, wearing certain clothes, getting the newspaper, working on a favorite project, or joining others for something they once enjoyed. Don't assume they've lost interest. Gently wonder what changed. There may be one small obstacle hiding behind a much bigger change.

Door Three: Find the Hard Part
One difficult step doesn't necessarily make the whole activity difficult.

Maybe someone can prepare their own lunch but struggles to open one container. Maybe they can do their laundry but can't comfortably carry the basket. Maybe they can get dressed but one button gives them trouble. Ask, “Which part is making this difficult?” Then see if you can make that part easier without taking over everything else.

Door Four: Notice the Workarounds
People are remarkably good at adapting—and sometimes those adaptations hide the problem.

Maybe someone uses a different chair, avoids a certain doorway, keeps frequently used items in unusual places, waits for someone else before doing something, or has invented their own way of getting a task done. Don't immediately correct the workaround. Get curious about it. It may be showing you exactly where everyday life has become harder.

Door Five: Make the Things They Use Work Better
Sometimes the person isn't the problem. The object is.

Look at the things someone uses every day: containers, remotes, phones, lamps, chairs, clothing, dishes, cupboards, drawers, doors, faucets, and household tools. Could something be moved, adjusted, simplified, replaced, labeled, or made easier to use? A small change to the environment may allow someone to keep doing something independently.

Door Six: Help With One Part, Not Every Part
Needing help with something doesn't always mean needing someone else to do it.

If carrying the laundry basket is difficult, carry the basket. If getting one arm into a coat is frustrating, help with the sleeve. If reaching the mixing bowl is the problem, get the bowl down. Then give the person room to do whatever they can—and want—to do themselves.

Helping older adults live easier, stay connected, keep contributing, and enjoy the life they’ve built.

Door Seven: Give Them Time to Do It Their Way
Sometimes something hasn't become impossible. It has simply become slower.

When you're busy, it's tempting to step in because you can button the shirt, pour the coffee, prepare the toast, or finish the task much faster. Before taking over, ask yourself whether speed really matters right now. An extra minute may be a small price for someone to keep doing something for themselves.

Door Eight: Ask “What Would Make This Easier?”
You don't always have to figure out the solution yourself.

If you notice someone struggling, ask what they think would help. They may already know exactly what the problem is. Move something? Change the setup? Help with one step? Try a different tool? Sit instead of stand? Explore the possibilities together.

The goal isn't to discover everything someone can no longer do.

It's to discover what might help them keep doing more of what they still can.